Saturday, June 28, 2008

Arizona Republican Congressional Candidate Richard Grayson Blasts Torture, Calls for End of Forced Watching of Cheney Speeches

PHOENIX, June 28 - Speaking early this morning to an estrogen-challenged audience of the Valley's movers and shakers at the men's grill room of the Phoenix Country Club, Republican candidate for Congress Richard Grayson decried the use of torture in harsh interrogation techniques of American detainees and called for the abolishment of waterboarding, sexual humiliation, electric shock, extreme sleep deprivation, and "that worst torture of all, forced watching of Dick Cheney speeches."

Grayson, running as a state-certified write-in candidate in the September 2 Fourth Congressional District GOP primary against Don Karg, noted that Thursday was the 21st anniversary of the United Nations Convention Against Torture and Other Cruel, Inhuman or Degrading Treatment or Punishment and that the Nobel Prize-winning organization Physicians for Human Rights recently released a report, called “Broken Laws, Broken Lives,” detailing abuses of detainees in at facilities in Afghanistan, Iraq and Guantánamo Bay, Cuba.

"For the sake of decency," Grayson said, "we must end this madness. It shocks the conscience to subject our fellow human beings to listen to Dick Cheney speak for hours on end." Grayson noted that in one instance, a prisoner was also forced to listen to an audiotape of one of Lynne Cheney's books for children. "That is beyond the pale," he said. "I get pale just thinking about it."

The speech, piped in by intercom to those segregated in the Phoenix Country Club's separate-but-equal women's grill room, was received enthusiastically by the crowd.

Following Grayson's talk, the candidate walked up N. 7th Street from Thomas Road to Camelback, where, continuing the campaign's theme of torture, he ordered the Grand Slam breakfast at Gay Denny's.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Arizona GOP Congressional Candidate Grayson Asks Americans to Commemorate the Bush Administration by Flushing Toilets at Noon on Inauguration Day 2009

Richard Grayson, Republican candidate for the U.S. House of Representatives in Arizona's Fourth Congressional District, today asked all Americans to commemorate the achievements of the Bush administration by flushing their toilets at noon next January 20, when George W. Bush's second presidential term comes to an end.

"This is an appropriate way for our nation to salute the service of President Bush and the accomplishments of his administration," Grayson said in a press conference today in Central Phoenix. "It will help all Americans to release their pent-up feelings about everything our President has done in his eight years in office. I hope to be in Washington as a Republican Congressman to lead the nation in this tribute, but I ask everyone in Arizona to join us in our salute to a great American leader."

Mr. Grayson faces Don Karg in the September 2 AZ-04 GOP primary.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Phoenix Republicans Celebrate Richard Grayson's Qualifying for the Sept. 2 Fourth Congressional District GOP Primary

Arizona Secretary of State Jan Brewer has announced that Richard Grayson has qualified as a write-in candidate for the September 2 Republican primary in the state's Fourth Congressional District.

Mr. Grayson, previously an Apache Junction Democrat, recently switched his party affiliation to the GOP following an unfortunate charreada accident in which he was kicked in the head by a steer.

His campaign platform includes these three major planks:
1. Endless war;
2. More tax cuts for millionaires; and
3. Deporting everyone with a funny name.

No wonder Phoenix Republicans are celebrating.